Andros.isTeen = false;

[logomancer]

I am now twenty years old. A great deal has changed. I am no longer a teenager, for one. No more use for special words to describe my age, just xty-y until I get insanely old. It's a bit of a big step, that. And yet, despite this being the day of my birth, I am sad.

I feel alone. Lonely. Empty inside. For some reason, I am preoccupied with the fear of me at some future age having no life, of being Irrelevant and Insignificant, of having a shit job somewhere out in the middle of nowhere with no friends or companions for company. It's depressing. I am afraid of the future, for I think it might be happening to me.

I have few friends of mention at present. Few people pay me mind. When I try to do something for the rest of the group, I am shouted down and ridiculed until someone else steps up. I feel like the world has conspired against me, that I'm the butt of some cosmic joke. And I don't understand why.

I'm sorry if anything I said has hurt any of you. I've just had this sense and feeling growing inside of me for a while now, and I felt that I should let it out before it consumed me.

I just looked out my window, and it's stopped raining. I'm not sure whether that is good or bad.

Comments

[yubbie.livejournal.com]

Everyone has the fear of getting old and having no life, having a shit job, etc. The bad news is that fear never goes away; the good news is that everyone has it too.

Lots of friends isn't always a good thing. Quality friends counts. You're too hard on yourself, and take any negativity badly; almost violently at times. Most times a negative comment is just that; not a condemnation worthy of prostration.

Bottom line is, you're doing ok.

If you ever want to talk, let me know.