logomancer | Andros.isTeen = false;

I am now twenty years old. A great deal has changed. I am no longer a teenager, for one. No more use for special words to describe my age, just xty-y until I get insanely old. It's a bit of a big step, that. And yet, despite this being the day of my birth, I am sad.

I feel alone. Lonely. Empty inside. For some reason, I am preoccupied with the fear of me at some future age having no life, of being Irrelevant and Insignificant, of having a shit job somewhere out in the middle of nowhere with no friends or companions for company. It's depressing. I am afraid of the future, for I think it might be happening to me.

I have few friends of mention at present. Few people pay me mind. When I try to do something for the rest of the group, I am shouted down and ridiculed until someone else steps up. I feel like the world has conspired against me, that I'm the butt of some cosmic joke. And I don't understand why.

I'm sorry if anything I said has hurt any of you. I've just had this sense and feeling growing inside of me for a while now, and I felt that I should let it out before it consumed me.

I just looked out my window, and it's stopped raining. I'm not sure whether that is good or bad.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Checking this quick before I bolt for work. I'll say more
about this over time, yet you sound like you could use a
few good words right now, so I'll make a start.

I've had those worry-feelings myself, and I remember.
Yet from my perspective, I don't think your worst-case
scenario is coming true. You've grown since I met you,
and I see you keep growing. You will have friends.
And you do have them now. I'm one.

At 20, I had many of the same things to work on as you do.
Similar challenges with anger, and feeling singled out
in not-good ways. Yet I see you working on that, and
there have been times recently when I felt cheered for you,
because I noticed you making an effort, and it's working.
Looks like I need to let you know about that sooner.
I'm still working on my own challenges with letting myself
talk about beyond-ordinary feelings, though I've been
having a go at it, lately.

It may be I know some things about working through issues
that I can tell you. I'll talk more on that if you wish.
And get you some more Miles books - which ones you got, so
I know what to get you next?

In all, now can be rough, but hang in, it gets better.
I'm betting the future holds more good stuff for you than you
might think.

I'm glad I know you.

Growthful birthday to you, Peg

Thanks :)

I have Cetaganda, Mirror Dance, and I picked up Cordelia's Honor at TCon.

Oh, and Carly says hi.

You're welcome. :)

OK, I'm aiming to make it to SOAP Friday, and catch up on
birthday things - I'll bring you a Miles, and bring Tiger
and Bren's presents too, as I got behind accidentally.
Hmmm, there's a thought! *grin* How about if I check the
chronology, and find you one when Miles is 20? Seems like
it would suit.

And hello to Carly too. :)

Oh, do read Young Miles. It's not theropy, but it will make you feel better - choose to have Ivan's life, it's better for your mental health, not to talk about your sex life... :)
There is light at the end of tunnel. Sweetie, you will make it, and we'll all be there.

Andros.isTeen = false;

Thoughts for your birthday :)

Re: Thoughts for your birthday :)

Re: Thoughts for your birthday :)

Re: Thoughts for your birthday :)