Everyone has the fear of getting old and having no life, having a shit job, etc. The bad news is that fear never goes away; the good news is that everyone has it too.

Lots of friends isn't always a good thing. Quality friends counts. You're too hard on yourself, and take any negativity badly; almost violently at times. Most times a negative comment is just that; not a condemnation worthy of prostration.

Bottom line is, you're doing ok.

If you ever want to talk, let me know.