Reading

Entry tags:

silliness

New frontiers in conflict resolution

As apparently the result of some long-running bad communication (not on Belovedest's side) there's a certain snarl at their work currently. They laid out the situation and the players to me.

Regarding the largest part of it -- "You have a leg to stand on there," I said. "Two legs. And my legs. That's four. And Yellface's. That's six. Eight. And when you have eight legs? ( creepy AND crawly )!"

Entry tags:

been a minute

So, I'm not journaling. I am doing quite poorly, I think. Mostly this is a response to Lack Of Job but partly it's that I have spent an inordinate amount of time playing Silksong, a video game that came out somewhat unexpectedly at the beginning of September. Which is also something of a response to Lack Of Job.

Continuing to apply for both GIS and tech-writer jobs; so far I've seen a grand total of three responses, since May. Not great.

Anyway, I'm currently in Duluth MN at a GIS conference, in the hope that there will be Networking Opportunities. Not that I know how to Network; I am notoriously bad at being social with strangers even at SF/gaming/etc conventions.

In other fun news, the connector port on my phone died last Monday (while I was spending the day accompanying Mya for minor outpatient surgery), and the connector port on my tablet died on the way to Minnesota. The phone I can at least charge magnetically; the tablet is as good as dead until I can get it fixed. Bah. Never rains but etc. I would consider replacing my phone but a) money, and b) it is the Correct Size of phone (iPhone Mini) and they don't make them like that anymore.

Finally getting around to reading Neon Yang (fka JY Yang)'s Tensorate novellas. I forget who recommended these, or if it was anyone specific vs a general "hey these exist and are pretty good". They are in fact pretty good: Chinese-inflected fantasy, magic that feels magical, excellent prose and broad but quite believable characters.

Onward. Sleep and then more sociable.

Current Mood: annoyed

Entry tags:

work

The Government Shutdown and Me

There will almost certainly be a shutdown of the US government tonight. In about 90 minutes.

I work for them.

At the start of the day, I did not know if I would be declared critical/exempt (work and get paid), excepted (work, get paid when the shutdown ends), or furloughed (don’t work, get paid when the shutdown ends.) I had a guess as to which.

And I was right... with a caveat.

I am excepted, but weird excepted because of the specific nature of my work.

I support group X, but I am employed by group Y. Group X has a special situation for funding and they are not immediately impacted by a potential shutdown. If the shutdown lasts longer than X's funding, my status gets reevaluated.

Yay.

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 8

10q
https://www.doyou10q.com/question/2025/8
8
Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in the coming year?

Possibly look into AI/ML, Cloud(s), refresh windows systems administration, GRC, PMP i.e. the things which will help me get a job easier in the future.

Otherwise if I had the energy, learning to grow food for the rabbit and ourselves

looking into being a lower waste household

maybe trying those glp-1's my mom wants me to try

oh and refresh ham

(no subject)

unemployed day 24

September 29 Monday

Grand plan to wake up 9am and attend 2-3 Open SSF working group meetings, failed

woke up 6am to pee, fed cats 7am breakfast early

went back to bed

woke up 1pm?

let cats and bun outside

had to trash another avacado, and the cottage cheese. had avacado and toast and tajin for breakfast and tea

i need to stop buying fresh food i am bad at eating it fast enough and can't do that anymore

took morning meds

washed pet water fountain

played pokemon

put anti fungal on, brushed teeth

gave kids dinner at 3pm

since they all came in, closed the door and turned back on the hvac

folded laundry - all caught up (nothing on line, washer, dryer, nothing clean in laundry bags but some in dirty bin but not enough for a load)

took out trash

had husband do compost and cat litter

when we go to in laws for dinner will take everything to the curb

checked all inboxes and kept open those with mail

now exhausted, a nap before i try to make up for failing?

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 7

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

7
How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?

Have a job
Have Canadian citizenship (dual)
Not be in an unhappy marriage, either repairing it or leaving it.
I don't think there is any advice or council I have gotten which I can remember specific to the past year which applies

unemployed day 23

September 28 Sunday

Slept in a little
called mom, she was apple picking
played D&D, that was good to talk with everyone and hangout again
had leftovers for dinner
napped/bedrotted for a while after dinner
mom called, we talked

got out of bed and applied to more jobs

tomorrow's goal: study for citizenship exam

did emergency needed emails, why is everything so hard

now 10q then bed

unemployed day 22

September 27 Saturday

Slept but not slept in as much as i’d like

Ate lunch

Showered

Laundry

Checked emergency emails

Picked up krystal

Hotwash and celebratory dinner for bsides edmonton

Caught up on 10q

Not the new year I wanted, interesting timining overall

Did a few job searches based on comments at dinner

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 6

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Describe one thing you'd like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?

I would like to have a new job. Money is needed in a capitalist society to survive.

I would like my marriage to be in better shape, or find a way for it to be over. Neither of us are happy currently.

I would like to have gotten my dual citizenship. This would allow me to return to the US to get a job, or just to live with my parents, if needed (which would end my marriage), but with the option to return if I wanted or needed to. I would also then be able to look into sponsoring my parents to move here if things continue on the way they have in the US. although canada is attached physically and deeply intertwined financially to the US so it’s a small improvement.

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 5

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

5

Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? "Spiritual" can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.

No, I don’t think anything touched me deeply this year.

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 4

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?

Where do I start?

The descent into authoritarian facism in the US is scary

Ticking off project 2025 https://www.project2025.observer/en also terrifying

The loss and rollback of so much progress

The state of the job market

The state of what they are doing to healthcare

How many people are dead, dying or will die as a result

How many years it will take to recover from this, how perhaps some things like climate change we may get past the point we can recover

Finding out how many people just do not care

Finding out how very ignorant so many people are

But there is no choice but to keep trying to live, and help who you can

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 3

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?

My sister died, she picked a good time. It was not an ideal time to be disabled in the US.

I can’t think of anything more significant than that

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 2

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you're especially proud of from this past year?

No, other than the traditional wish i kept my performance reviews, wish i had kept seeking jobs, wish i had better tracked my successes, the things one ought to do while employed but so hard to do when you feel so busy.

I don’t think i did anything worthy of being proud of.

Entry tags:

10 q

10q 1

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

Laid off for the first time ever. Stressed. Afraid. Because my husband has been out of work for over a year we’ve gone through our emergency fund, and because he’s mentally unstable, unwilling to find alternate work, newly diagnosed ADHD and autistic things are not great.

January started off with husband being suicidal, my birthday, on which my sister died, the same day as his grandmothers 100th birthday

Having to leave and miss the final shmoocon because husband couldn't hold his shit together for 3 days

February - Gallifrey One, to find out they are winding down. All good things come to an end.

March - Gave a talk at BSides Reykjavik (Iceland) with my mom and husband, and got to see Kat - very much enjoyed iceland

Went to D&D in a castle, a great time, and visited Peter

April - Visited Japan for star wars celebration and end of cherry blossom season, we missed most of the cherry blossoms and i would have done much more tea stuff if not having my husband with me

BSides SF & RSA

June

Gartner conference

August - Hacker Summer Camp

Ran the last stand alone TDI event for at least a year, skytalks, and TDI @ DEF CON - busy but good

Also had a gathering at the halloween suite at the westgate hotel

Finished with the traditional cabana day

Sadly one of our friends got RIF’d at the event

Came home and then went on a disney cruise with mom and brandon and heath and husband which was less than magical

September

Laid off

Prepped for an ran BSides Edmonton which went well

But now i’m not being as effective or useful as I need to be.

unemployed day 12-21

Overall schedule went to hell

Didn’t do applications every day, didn’t do anti-fungal every day, didn’t study for citizenship at all, didn't learn ai at all, didn’t pokemon every day, didn’t finch everyday, didn’t 10Q when it started, didn’t reach out to friends every day, slept a LOT after BSides Edmonton

unemployed day 12

September 17 Wednesday

Women in Product Conference - 10th year all day

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iy0s3217r9M9F50KLI-5jhp2TNkZ2CmbYpni7bYvKrQ/edit?tab=t.0#heading=h.fbudiocf8dd5

Missed some for BSides Edmonton organizer meeting

Did food email to all of BSides Edmonton

Did some applications

Did TDI emergency emails

Did pokemon

Reached out to friends

Checked in on ann fran tickets, canceled hello fresh, added note about open bar for BSides Edmonton

unemployed day 13

September 18 Thursday

Did skytalks and tdi emergency emails, checked i with friends and family, got harvinder friend ticket

Got rabbit food

Played pokemon

Brad made pesto chicken and potatoes

Talked to eric about the B&E door challenge for BSides Edmonton

Cleaned the water fountain

Did bsides edmonton emails

unemployed day 14

September 19 Friday

Did a few interviews with goto

Canceled fabulous

Did pokemon

Contacted friends and family

Followed up on ROE document for unemployment

Did bsides edmonton; emails, printed schedule signs, info booth apackets, speaker bag letters, hotwash menu submitted to restaurant, printed faq for sponsor and partner, printed menus for info booth, printed logins for sponsors, printed labels for bags (speakers and volts)

unemployed day 15

September 20 Saturday

Showered

People came over to help prep bags, one poor organizer had terrible cat allergies need to note that next year

Printed all the labels for the badges

Render picked up cari at airport

Printed volunteer letter

We went pretty late, later than planned

Then cari wanted to check out canadian grocery stores

Prepped everything into the garage

Checked bsides email, emergency for skytalks and TDI

Did a little pokemon

Gave hacker tracker updated schedule

Seem to have gotten a UTI

unemployed day 16

September 21 Sunday

Emergency checked skytalks and TDI emails, talked to mom, took azo

Checked in on waitlist

Checked in on friends (ru’s birthday), loaded car

Canceled disney+ for the kowtowing to trump

Headed to NAIT

Did setup

Advertised hackertracker

Checked in on waitlist

Got all you can eat sushi for dinner

Printed canva lollipop signs

Updated wicys slides

Sent parking emails

unemployed day 17

September 22 Monday

Woke up 3:30am

Left 5:30am

Arrived 6:30am and started setup

The day was a whirlwind but went much smoother than last year

Exhausted for the 5:30 speaker dinner

Home, contact friends and family, take out trash and compost and recycling, empty cat boxes and rabbit boxes, check all emails for emergencies and go to sleep

unemployed day 18

September 23 Tuesday

Woke up 4:30am

Arrived nait 7:30am

Another whirlwind day, including chaos with raffles and name drawing with a partner who would not be able to attend in person

Gave closing ceremonies

Got home

Went out for pho at mini mango

???

sleep

unemployed day 19

September 24 Wednesday

Slept in a bit

Took cari to the airport

Got sewing needles, stoped by the reuse center, got drinkwell filters

Fixed the jacket airtag for the cats and let them out

Had fish and potatoes for dinner

Then did nothing? IDK wasted the evening

unemployed day 20

September 25 Thursday

Slept in until noon

Brad got bun veg

1:1 conversation with one of TDI board members

Bsides newsletter

Quickbooks bsides and tdi

Bought health insurance (cobra equivalent)

Checked all emails for emergencies

Applied for unemployment

unemployed day 21

September 26 Friday

Slept all day, like until 4pm

Checked ann frank tickets, still months off

Reached out to friends

Canceled hello fresh

Logged in all twitter

Checked all emails for emergencies

Recommended confreaks

Sent email to checked in attendees

Updated demographics

Sent recap to bsides mailing list

Entry tags:

impolitic,
linky

the world carries on

I Am An AI Hater: "I am not here to make a careful comprehensive argument, because people have already done that. If you're pushing slop or eating it, you wouldn't read it anyway. You'd ask a bot for a summary and forget what it told you, then proceed with your day, unchanged by words you did not read and ideas you did not consider."

How to not build the Torment Nexus: "I guess what I'm saying is that it's getting close to impossible to be in this industry -- at the moment -- without being on the Torment Nexus Team. And lest you think 'at the moment' is load-bearing... well, I wouldn't lean too hard on it. I don't see shit improving too soon."

How to Tell the Difference Between a Lone Wolf and a Coordinated Effort by the Radical Left: McSweeney's, no humour beyond the obvious repeated dark variety, plenty of links and documentation.

And, not about the present and thus more cheerful reading, Your Review: Joan of Arc: "This is, then, an agnostic's review of the evidence for Joan of Arc - artillerist, fraudbuster, confirmed saint, and Extremely Documented Person." Fascinating reading.

Current Music: Tom Cardy - "H.Y.C.Y.B.H"

Entry tags:

medical

They checked it

The worst part of colonoscopy prep turned out to be the sheer number of trips to the bathroom, which knotted up my legs something fierce. The second worst part was the taste of the solution, even with added flavorings. It was salty! (I got the huge jug rather than the Miralax version. Miralax at least isn't salty.) Next time, probably either green unsweetened Kool-Aid or lemonade Crystal Lite or whatever.

( Off topic for FFA )

I did make the planned gallon of orange jello, but since it was a little late for me to actually eat it, I put mandarin orange slices in it. Since that's often part of Belovedest's lunch. Today I packed it into smaller boxes to help with that effort and to decrease the crowding in the fridge.

I got a slight nap after everything was about finished. The split prep schedule meant that I started the second half around 12:30 am. Appointment check in time 6 am.

The distance in the facility wasn't super bad, although we brought my chair just in case. (Speaking of the chair, I have decked it out with retroreflective tape and electroluminescent wire. It looks much safer. The cup holder went on Friday.)

( The procedure wasn't bad. )

I got dressed again. I had picked a cute nightgown for the outing, black with flowers and butterflies. Instead of a coat (it's getting chilly at night) I wore my dramatic black velvet robe, the one with lace trim and bell sleeves. I received a compliment. And as soon as I proved I could stand up without excessive wobbling, we were off.

Belovedest gathered breakfast for me on our way home, and I took a much needed nap (interrupted a few times to confirm that I could be made conscious and accept hydration).

And that was that.

We did our usual Friday shopping on Saturday. I was still sore. Today my legs are thankfully feeling normal.

Entry tags:

france travelogue IV: rognes (2/2)

( marseille, ochre, Lacoste )

Next: return to Paris, mostly cathedrals, and home.